Kicking the Habit - Part 1

I’m trying to quit smoking. This endeavor started out well enough. Saturday morning got up and smoked a cigarette and didn’t smoke another one until 6 hours later and then another one before I went to bed. That’s only 3 for the entire day. Before you start considering me for sainthood I should tell you that I did chew the nicotine gum in between actual cigarettes.

I also have to tell you that only having 3 cigarettes was not that bad EXCEPT, and this is one FUCKING HUGE except, for the gum part. You have to really have your shit together and plan for this gum. First you can’t eat or drink anything 15 minutes prior to chewing the gum. Once you are chewing the gum you can’t eat or drink anything. Here’s the kicker though…you don’t actually chew the gum. You pop in your mouth and bite down on it up to 15 times until it starts to taste peppery…YUM! Then you “park” it (their instruction not mine) between your cheek and gum until it stops being peppery and then bite down on it a couple more times until the peppery starts and then “park” it again in a different spot. You repeat this process until you bite down on it and there is no flavor. This usually takes about 30 minutes. So if you’ve been keeping track that is 45 minutes. This sucks because on the package they tell you make sure and drink plenty of water. So all of a sudden your sitting there and you get a craving but you’ve just drank a glass of water and now have to wait 15 minutes before you can start the gum….this REALLY sucks!! Then you can’t drink anything while chewing for 30 minutes. Now the taste is peppery like I said….you WANT to drink water…it’s not spicy or anything just tastes like ass, but you can’t drink water for another ½ hour.

Fuck the gum, I switched to the patch on Monday. This seems to work much better. No restrictions on eating and drinking and you can do whatever you want whenever you want. It gives you a slow steady stream of nicotine for 24 hours. This is much better for avoiding the cravings and then having to go through a 45 minute process. CRAP!!

However, as I’ve long hypothesized it is not so much the nicotine that has me hooked at this point. I can get busy doing something and not smoke for hours and hours. I am confident it is the habit itself, the actual act of smoking not the need for nicotine to satisfy a craving. I find that I am not jittery or “jonesing” or anything like that. It is after I eat that I automatically want to light up, when I get in the car, when I am bored, etc. When I cheat and do smoke, it does nothing for me and I actually don’t enjoy it, but it’s so hard to break that habit. Not a having a cigarette with my cup of coffee in the morning is KILLING ME!!! Although I had one today and really wish I hadn’t…I got the patch baby!!

Now I’m at work and I’m a little bored and REALLY want to smoke to just to pass the time. However, I did not bring any cigarettes with me…Ah…check me out thinking ahead!! Other people smoke here but I’m not going to ask to bum a smoke…I have my pride.

I’m only working a ½ day today, see below, so I’ll probably have one when I get home….I SUCK!

(Editorial Comment: Sorry for the extra amount of cursing, but I am trying to fucking quit smoking and I have a sick dog).