I didn't write these...although for the most part I agree...this was an e-mail forward I received from a co-worker. So to avoid any acusations of plagerism if, by chance, the actual auther of these rules happens to read this post - PROPS TO YOU!! On a personal note to those who read this, as far as the Angry Mo is concerned, these rules are retroactive to January 1 and I expect them to be followed accordingly...please and thanks...enjoy! Oh yes...any personal thoughts will be designated by : [AM: presonal thought]
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're just pictures of athletic looking young men. [AM: And that's a bad thing???]
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole. [AM: I live in Seattle...I'm surrounded by ass holes]
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water. [AM: And what about bottled water in general...how many kinds do we need, there are entire aisles of this crap too. More than likely it is tap water filtered to taste like nothing, and do we really need to have the nutritional information on the label?? Calories - 0, Fat - 0, Sodium - 0, blah blah - 0...UH NO SHIT...it's water! If anyone even begins to tell me they can taste a difference...see the previous rule about Starbucks...you too are a huge asshole.]
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting. [AM: I don't know about this one...I've had an Amazon wishlist for about 4 years running and it's worked out pretty well come Christmas time]
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place. [AM: I agree...after 12 months just respond in years. Although if I ask you I care :-) ]
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
CAT Scan
Well that was anti-climatic. I had my CAT Scan today...I was in and out of there in 20 mins and that includes filling out paperwork. Oh well...kinda nice - I came home after and am finishing my work day home. One slight negative - I'm hanging out with the newly hormonal Gizmo. Actually she's not too bad today...pretty mellow....so far!
Gotta go...Paula's Home Cooking is on....I LOVE me some Paula!!!
Gotta go...Paula's Home Cooking is on....I LOVE me some Paula!!!
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Mo Speaking
Been a long time since my last post. Not much going on, just seems like one thing after another. Let's recap...shall we?
Christmas -
After fall quarter ended I was very excited because Christmas was right around the corner and I had some time off coming. I was going to be off work from December 21 to January 3...YES!! Well that went to shit when I went out to the car to go to work on the 19th and discovered my car was leaking oil. SUPER! So I got it into the shop and $700 later I had a new manifold gasket. Coincidentally December 19th was also the day the rains came...it started raining and didn't stop for 27 days.
Got the car back on the 22nd and the 23rd left for Yakima to have Christmas with my dad and family. It was raining here, rained all the way, and was raining Yakima. Arrived in Yakima about 6:30pm and went to dad's and had a great time eating, drinking and being merry. Went back to my sister's house and installed XM satellite radio in my car that my sister gave me because she got 2 of them. Got to bed about midnight.
Got up at 6:30 to get ready to hit the road for Spokane to spend Christmas with my mom and family. Got ready stopped at Starbucks, gassed up, picked up grandpa and were on the road by 8:00. Arrived in Spokane around noon. Had a quiet night with family, woke up early and had did the Christmas thing. Had big dinner watched movies went to bed. Got up early on Monday to head back home cause Chuck had to work on Tuesday.
We're heading home switching between the 80's channel and the Broadway channel on the XM, cause we're gay like that. We're about an hour out of Spokane and my cell phone rings. It's my sister, she just got a call from dad. Our grandma was taken to the hospital that morning and the prognosis was not good. So instead of going home we detoured to Yakima. Unfortunately we arrived at the hospital, literally, 5 mins too late. My grandma passed away about 1:30pm December 26th. After saying our goodbyes we headed to my dad's house. After talking, telling stories and crying we left for home around 6:30.
The good times continue, Chuck goes to work Tuesday and calls me around 1:30pm. He was just heading out for lunch and his car won't start. So I have to pick him up that night and will have to drop him off and pick him up all week...so much for nice restful vacation. Meanwhile, the sinus infection that started in October is back with a vengeance, but with all that is going on can't get into the doctor until the following week.
Back to the Christmas time fun. So Friday after Christmas we head back to Yakima to go to my grandma's memorial and to have Christmas with Chuck's family. One again had good time with Christmas fun and merriment.
The New Year -
Headed home Jan 1 for a day of rest on the 2nd before we both head back to work on the 3rd.
Tuesday the 3rd comes and with my sinus issues and grandma sadness I decide work is too much to deal with so I stay home (I finally return to work on Thurs the 5th). I tell Chuck to just take my car I'm not going anywere. He is planning on calling the shop, which is right by his work to come and get his car. The come to get it and its starts right up...WHAT THE HELL!! Anyway they take it over to the shop and do some diagnostic work and can't find anything wrong. They bring it back and tell Chuck no charge...cause as much as I hate to take my car to the shop...these guys rock and I had given them $700 the week before.
Wednesday (the 4th) I head to the doctor for what I think will be my 3rd round of antibiotics....but the doctor tells me he thinks it's just allergies and to increase my nasal spray from once a day to twice a day. Well....I'm no doctor but I know the difference in the look and consistency of nasal discharge that results from allergies vs. injection. Mine were not of the allergy variety. Still no dice...so I decide to go and see Chuck's doctor and luckily he can get me in same day. He agrees with me and puts me on a 3rd course of antibiotics and a anti-inflammatory and what do you know within 3 days no more infection. However, within a week after the course of antibiotics is finished I start exhibiting symptoms again. So I just went back to the doctor last week and am now going in for a CAT scan of the sinuses to see if there is an anatomical reason for my illness. Good times...in the interim he's given me a decongestant that is working nicely.
Now we're up to just this last week (Jan 16th) I leave for lunch and as I pull out of my parking space notice that there is a small puddle of liquid..what the??? I get out and look and it is not oil but transmission fluid...I check the level and it is almost dry....SUPER. So back to the shop the car goes and $164 later I have a new transmission gasket and filter. Oh but wait there is more to this story.
Wednesday the 18th Chuck takes me to the shop to get my car. He drops me off, I pay the $164, and head to work. I arrive at work and after about an hour or so my boss calls me and tells me that 1) she has informed other members of my department that they no longer have access to me, which is good news because I have been plagued by interruption after interruption and 2) that the annual cost of living increase will be on my next check and that in addition to the COLA increase she has given me an additional 4.5% because...well lets face it I rock...this means I have just received emancipation from departmental drama and a 8% raise all in the course of 15 minutes. Oh but don't get excited yet. A couple hours later I go out to my car to go to lunch and I'm cruising along and what the hell, the check engine light comes on. So I call Chuck and have what amounts to a mild nervous break-down. I decide that I don't give a shit...let the fucking think explode I don't care. Besides there are no indications that anything is amiss and I don't have time or energy for the shop this week anyway so decide to let it ride until the following week.
Thursday the 19th brings some more news on the work front. Turns out our company has been sold. This will be the 3rd time in 5 years that it's changed hands. Now have to fill out all the insurance, 401k, and tax crap all over again...fun. Good news is, at least for now, nothing has changed for us it's business as usual. However I did receive a call from my boss later that evening at home to inform me that under penalty of death I was not to repeat what she was to tell me. Instantly I'm a little nervous...but turns out I am included in what she decribes as a very exclusive and extremely small number of employees that will receive stock options in the new company. So not too bad of a work week, seperation from the rest of the department, a raise and now stock options...I can deal with that. Oh yeah...did I mention I got a corner office in November? All of this is so great except for one tiny detail, I hate my job. Well, I don't really hate it...I'd just rather be doing something else...more on that in later posts....I'm hatching a plan.
Now we are up to the present....whew!! Yesterday we did the normal weekend errands...went to Costco and the grocery store. Got home and got everything unloaded and put away and started dinner when I noticed that poor little Gizmo has come into heat. In case you're not familiar she is pretty much menstruating. So we put dinner on hold and go to Petco to buy....are you ready for this....puppy panties and sanitary pads. Let me tell you this the sanitary pads are exactly what they sound like, miniature pads with an adhesive strip that will adhere them to the puppy panties' reinforced cotton crotch panel. So the whole time we are in the pet store I am uncontrollably laughing because I can not believe my dog got her first period. To celebrate her coming into womanhood she also received a new treat bone to hopefully make the wearing of the puppy panties a little easier to cope with. Now in a weird karmic or coincidental twist of fate we leave the pet store and get in the car and what do you know...no more check engine light.
Oh yeah with Christmas shopping expenses and the unexpected car expenses I wasn't able to go to school this quarter. Actually I'm completely okay with that because I went 5 quarters in row so the break is actually nice. I'm catching up on pleasure reading and besides with all the other stuff I don't think I would have been able to handle it anyway.
On a happier note, even with all this craziness I am happy to report that I am still smokeless. I have not had a cigarette since August 4th. Honestly I haven't really even thought about it. The only downside to this, which has become a top priority, is that I've gained all the weight back that I lost last year and am a big fat cow. E-diets here I come!
Now everyone's caught up.
Christmas -
After fall quarter ended I was very excited because Christmas was right around the corner and I had some time off coming. I was going to be off work from December 21 to January 3...YES!! Well that went to shit when I went out to the car to go to work on the 19th and discovered my car was leaking oil. SUPER! So I got it into the shop and $700 later I had a new manifold gasket. Coincidentally December 19th was also the day the rains came...it started raining and didn't stop for 27 days.
Got the car back on the 22nd and the 23rd left for Yakima to have Christmas with my dad and family. It was raining here, rained all the way, and was raining Yakima. Arrived in Yakima about 6:30pm and went to dad's and had a great time eating, drinking and being merry. Went back to my sister's house and installed XM satellite radio in my car that my sister gave me because she got 2 of them. Got to bed about midnight.
Got up at 6:30 to get ready to hit the road for Spokane to spend Christmas with my mom and family. Got ready stopped at Starbucks, gassed up, picked up grandpa and were on the road by 8:00. Arrived in Spokane around noon. Had a quiet night with family, woke up early and had did the Christmas thing. Had big dinner watched movies went to bed. Got up early on Monday to head back home cause Chuck had to work on Tuesday.
We're heading home switching between the 80's channel and the Broadway channel on the XM, cause we're gay like that. We're about an hour out of Spokane and my cell phone rings. It's my sister, she just got a call from dad. Our grandma was taken to the hospital that morning and the prognosis was not good. So instead of going home we detoured to Yakima. Unfortunately we arrived at the hospital, literally, 5 mins too late. My grandma passed away about 1:30pm December 26th. After saying our goodbyes we headed to my dad's house. After talking, telling stories and crying we left for home around 6:30.
The good times continue, Chuck goes to work Tuesday and calls me around 1:30pm. He was just heading out for lunch and his car won't start. So I have to pick him up that night and will have to drop him off and pick him up all week...so much for nice restful vacation. Meanwhile, the sinus infection that started in October is back with a vengeance, but with all that is going on can't get into the doctor until the following week.
Back to the Christmas time fun. So Friday after Christmas we head back to Yakima to go to my grandma's memorial and to have Christmas with Chuck's family. One again had good time with Christmas fun and merriment.
The New Year -
Headed home Jan 1 for a day of rest on the 2nd before we both head back to work on the 3rd.
Tuesday the 3rd comes and with my sinus issues and grandma sadness I decide work is too much to deal with so I stay home (I finally return to work on Thurs the 5th). I tell Chuck to just take my car I'm not going anywere. He is planning on calling the shop, which is right by his work to come and get his car. The come to get it and its starts right up...WHAT THE HELL!! Anyway they take it over to the shop and do some diagnostic work and can't find anything wrong. They bring it back and tell Chuck no charge...cause as much as I hate to take my car to the shop...these guys rock and I had given them $700 the week before.
Wednesday (the 4th) I head to the doctor for what I think will be my 3rd round of antibiotics....but the doctor tells me he thinks it's just allergies and to increase my nasal spray from once a day to twice a day. Well....I'm no doctor but I know the difference in the look and consistency of nasal discharge that results from allergies vs. injection. Mine were not of the allergy variety. Still no dice...so I decide to go and see Chuck's doctor and luckily he can get me in same day. He agrees with me and puts me on a 3rd course of antibiotics and a anti-inflammatory and what do you know within 3 days no more infection. However, within a week after the course of antibiotics is finished I start exhibiting symptoms again. So I just went back to the doctor last week and am now going in for a CAT scan of the sinuses to see if there is an anatomical reason for my illness. Good times...in the interim he's given me a decongestant that is working nicely.
Now we're up to just this last week (Jan 16th) I leave for lunch and as I pull out of my parking space notice that there is a small puddle of liquid..what the??? I get out and look and it is not oil but transmission fluid...I check the level and it is almost dry....SUPER. So back to the shop the car goes and $164 later I have a new transmission gasket and filter. Oh but wait there is more to this story.
Wednesday the 18th Chuck takes me to the shop to get my car. He drops me off, I pay the $164, and head to work. I arrive at work and after about an hour or so my boss calls me and tells me that 1) she has informed other members of my department that they no longer have access to me, which is good news because I have been plagued by interruption after interruption and 2) that the annual cost of living increase will be on my next check and that in addition to the COLA increase she has given me an additional 4.5% because...well lets face it I rock...this means I have just received emancipation from departmental drama and a 8% raise all in the course of 15 minutes. Oh but don't get excited yet. A couple hours later I go out to my car to go to lunch and I'm cruising along and what the hell, the check engine light comes on. So I call Chuck and have what amounts to a mild nervous break-down. I decide that I don't give a shit...let the fucking think explode I don't care. Besides there are no indications that anything is amiss and I don't have time or energy for the shop this week anyway so decide to let it ride until the following week.
Thursday the 19th brings some more news on the work front. Turns out our company has been sold. This will be the 3rd time in 5 years that it's changed hands. Now have to fill out all the insurance, 401k, and tax crap all over again...fun. Good news is, at least for now, nothing has changed for us it's business as usual. However I did receive a call from my boss later that evening at home to inform me that under penalty of death I was not to repeat what she was to tell me. Instantly I'm a little nervous...but turns out I am included in what she decribes as a very exclusive and extremely small number of employees that will receive stock options in the new company. So not too bad of a work week, seperation from the rest of the department, a raise and now stock options...I can deal with that. Oh yeah...did I mention I got a corner office in November? All of this is so great except for one tiny detail, I hate my job. Well, I don't really hate it...I'd just rather be doing something else...more on that in later posts....I'm hatching a plan.
Now we are up to the present....whew!! Yesterday we did the normal weekend errands...went to Costco and the grocery store. Got home and got everything unloaded and put away and started dinner when I noticed that poor little Gizmo has come into heat. In case you're not familiar she is pretty much menstruating. So we put dinner on hold and go to Petco to buy....are you ready for this....puppy panties and sanitary pads. Let me tell you this the sanitary pads are exactly what they sound like, miniature pads with an adhesive strip that will adhere them to the puppy panties' reinforced cotton crotch panel. So the whole time we are in the pet store I am uncontrollably laughing because I can not believe my dog got her first period. To celebrate her coming into womanhood she also received a new treat bone to hopefully make the wearing of the puppy panties a little easier to cope with. Now in a weird karmic or coincidental twist of fate we leave the pet store and get in the car and what do you know...no more check engine light.
Oh yeah with Christmas shopping expenses and the unexpected car expenses I wasn't able to go to school this quarter. Actually I'm completely okay with that because I went 5 quarters in row so the break is actually nice. I'm catching up on pleasure reading and besides with all the other stuff I don't think I would have been able to handle it anyway.
On a happier note, even with all this craziness I am happy to report that I am still smokeless. I have not had a cigarette since August 4th. Honestly I haven't really even thought about it. The only downside to this, which has become a top priority, is that I've gained all the weight back that I lost last year and am a big fat cow. E-diets here I come!
Now everyone's caught up.
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